As I've been playing this pretty close to the chest, some of you may be a little surprised (and I'm sorry about that). However, those who have been surprised thus far have responded pretty well after getting over the shock of the fact that I'm moving to FL in 5 MONTHS!
"It's about time..."
"Dreams really DO come true!"
"Thank you, Lord!"
"This is what you've always wanted!"
"I can't wait to hear about how Jesus moves through you down there."
"Good, because then you won't have to deal with this snow ever again."
and my personal favorite...
"KJASDHFGIUAEHFNDIUHFLSLDFKJISHGOJSOIJGOIJ!!!!!!!!!"
To fill you all in on how God has been molding me these past couple of months while I've been prayerfully considering this and then waiting for my interview after having applied- it's been crazy. The Lord truly does provide in every way you could possibly imagine and more.
Barriers that could stand in my way were probably my biggest fears in thinking about moving down to Florida.
1. I need to find a sub leaser for my apartment here
2. I need to find a roommate(s) for down there
3. Moving away from my best friends, my family, my surrogate family,
4. Moving in general
5. Support raising
6. Being without an income for three months and still having enough money left over to initially pay for the move
And lastly- what about MY CAT?!
Let me tell you- before I could even finish my application, the Lord provided a second job AND a sub leaser for my apartment here so I could have that extra $$$ to live off of and also Katy wouldn't be stuck with some Craigslist roommate. Before I was even excepted I found a roommate and an apartment complex to move to and my future roommate LOVES CATS! I found a place to stay half way down so Dinah can have a break from the car. My dad even offered to rent a truck and help me move down. AND I already have people asking me how they can join my support team financially!
2. I need to find a roommate(s) for down there
3. Moving away from my best friends, my family, my surrogate family,
5. Support raising (I mean... it's like half crossed out, kind of, not really though)
For a while, I kept on saying to myself, "This is too easy. Something has to be wrong. Where's the big boom? Why isn't this harder?" One night while I was Skyping with one of my best friends, she literally grabbed her computer screen, pressed her face up against the camera and yelled at me, "WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT GOD WANTS TO BLESS YOU?!"
Whoa.
I think so often, we get stuck in this idea that the Christian life is supposed to be torture. We're supposed to suffer because if we don't, then we must be living for ourselves- we must be seeking out happiness instead of the Lord's will for our lives. Since when has God NOT delighted in us serving Him joyfully? Since when has God NOT continually poured out blessings on His children? Since when has God NOT provided for us? Am I really that focused on the hard stuff in life that when everything seems to be going right and I don't feel any stress I freak out because something MUST be wrong? The Bible is full of sorrow and pain and clinging on to God with every fiber of one's being because living would be impossible otherwise. Look at Lamentations. However, there is also dancing and singing in the streets to praise God's goodness overflowing! Remember when King David brought the Ark back to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 6)? He made a fool of himself dancing in the streets praising the Lord!
The God that stretches our faith in Him by allowing trying circumstances to come into our life is the same God who lavishes grace and blessings on us. Obviously, sometimes to the extent of unbelief.
I guess my biggest surprise is that I have come to a place where I believe(d) God loves me enough to put a lot on my plate, to allow my grandpa to die without knowing who Jesus was personally, to stretch me financially, to put me in a position of faith in Him to provide a job, to show me how ugly my sin is; but I didn't/don't believe He loves me enough to provide abundntly and to fulfill every need as soon as I ask for His provision.
He loves us so tenderly and completely.
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:28-34
The verses about have been a constant reminder of God's faithfulness in the past when I have been worried about paying for a car repair, paying my rent, graduating college, etc. Today they serve a different purpose. They are reminding me that just as much as I need help remembering that God will provide for me all my needs, they are reminding me that this is what God has promised to do from the beginning and not to be surprised when He does so above my expectations.
I'm sure those verses will prove to remind me day in and day out during the support raising process that God will provide the financial support I need to report down to FL to do ministry. I need to honor Him and work diligently to reach my goal, but knowing that I, ultimately, hold no control over how much people give or how many people give, I can have peace knowing that God is provisional beyond measure and has opened my eyes to that truth in a whole new way these past couple of months.
"God, YOU are provisional beyond measure" will continue to be my prayer.
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