Catch up time really quick
1. I got accepted to go on Summer Project again at Disney World! This time, I'm going as student staff though.
2. There are only 3 1/2 more weeks of class left for the year! Which means only 4 1/2 more weeks until my birthday!
3. Luke BUSBY (a friend from England) is coming back to the United States!
4. My friend Jake who was serving in Afghanistan is back!
5. Support raising has been going horridly for me... (this is the main subject of this post)
So, 2 years ago I went on this summer missions trip through Campus Crusade for Christ to Walt Disney World. It changed my life. We got to share the Gospel with men and women from over 55 different countries, I got to build relationships with these international students and I grew leaps and bounds in my faith. I could write a book (a legitimate novel) about how amazing this trip was, but I won't. I will instead stick to the topic at hand.
I'm going on this same missions trip this summer, but instead of simply being a student on the project, I will be interning with Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru) and helping lead this project as "student staff." By me going and leading, I am able to serve and God let 4-5 more women go on this adventure I was on that changed my life. So cool right? Yeah! With missions trips, comes support raising. And support raising has been a struggle thus far. I have gotten no responds to my letters and no one has answered my calls. I have had a couple of friends tell me that they will support me, but neither of them have yet. I have raised $0. I need to have $1500 by the end of this month or early May.
Basically, my life was changed two summers ago by this missions trip quite literally. I plan on doing full time ministry at Disney as soon as I graduate college. Now I get to go back and help lead women who are going to have the same chance to let God change their lives and the lives of those around them. I have such a heart for this trip and the people of Walt Disney World. Their hearts are huge and they could be great vessels for God. Imagine what a Disney World with the love of Christ at the center of the company would look like! Imagine how the Disney company could impact the world for the Kingdom!
I am trying my hardest to trust God with the finances. I know that if He wants me in Orlando this summer, He will send me. He will get me there somehow someway. I guess that's why I'm writing this, I'm sort of running out of options and I'm taking a leap of faith here. If you happen to stumble upon this blog and you feel led to give, I would urge you to please pray about it. Consider this my support letter from me to you.
If you would like to support me financially, you may do so online at give.ccci.org
At the right hand side of the screen, it will have a box for giving donations. All you have to do is enter my destination number: 5633337 and hit enter. That will send you to a new page and all you have to click is the "Donate" button. Then you can select the amount you want to give (any little bit helps).
If you cannot give financially, that is perfectly fine. I just ask that you please be in prayer about my journey to go on this missions trip again! Please pray for the students and the staff. That we will all be led by the Holy Spirit for the duration of the summer and that we may love others as Christ has loved us! Please pray for wisdom and that God would truly show up this summer and work in ways that none of us could possibly have imagined!
Please consider joining my support team! Below I will have an actual copy of my support letter for you all :)
Two summers ago, I embarked on an adventure to Florida that changed my life forever! Who knew that one summer could change someone’s life so dramatically?
I spent the summer with Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru) on the Walt Disney World Summer Project. This is a summer long missions trip sponsored by Cru in which college students from all over the world can take part in growing in their faith, sharing the gospel, and getting to grow in a community of believers from all sorts of backgrounds.
My life was dramatically shaped throughout the summer. I learned so much about God and my faith and truly matured in my spiritual walk with God. I learned how to communicate to international students and build relationships with coworkers in a professional and interpersonal manner. I learned how to build financial stability and maturity. Most importantly, I was challenged in every aspect of my life. Life on project was physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually demanding.
Over summer project at Walt Disney World, the students on the missions trip shared the gospel to people from over fifty-five countries, we fed the homeless and got to show them love that they may not receive every day, we had the privilege of working at one of the most prestigious companies in the world, and we did all of this by the grace and power of God. My summer was so influential that my career path has now changed to a hopeful lifetime career working for the Disney company and has given me connections and friendships that have lasted over the past two years even though there is so much distance between us.
This summer I have the opportunity to go back on the Walt Disney World Summer Project, but as a leader this time and not a student. As a student staff intern, I will be mentoring four to five girls, helping plan events, leading a Bible study, and possibly preparing a lesson or two for the students who come on project this summer. By being a student staff intern, I allow four or five more girls to experience the summer of a lifetime and hopefully their lives will be changed as mine was.
My reason for writing this letter to you is to ask you to prayerfully consider supporting me financially or becoming part of my prayer team as I trust in the Lord in sending me to help lead this missions trip. I need to raise approximately $1,500 in order to be able to go. The money is used to pay for housing and for materials used on this missions trip. Any little bit helps. Thank you so much for your time. Please feel free to call or email me if you have any questions!
Email: klrayburn@gmail.com
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
It's just been one of those days.
I had to go to class this morning and then to work. Then I went and made cookies from scratch and hung out with some amazing friends. Pretty great day.
Now I'm home, tired, and since I'm away from people, Satan has decided to have his way. Nothing particularly bad happened, nothing whatsoever. I guess it's just time for some Jesus music to lift my spirits and worship the One worth giving all of my attention to.
Because in the end, God is the one who is fighting my battles for me. Not me, but God alone has the strength to battle Satan. Satan may be weak and so am I, but Jesus is the only one who gives me strength.
Sometimes I don't like being an emotional girl...
Now I'm home, tired, and since I'm away from people, Satan has decided to have his way. Nothing particularly bad happened, nothing whatsoever. I guess it's just time for some Jesus music to lift my spirits and worship the One worth giving all of my attention to.
Because in the end, God is the one who is fighting my battles for me. Not me, but God alone has the strength to battle Satan. Satan may be weak and so am I, but Jesus is the only one who gives me strength.
Sometimes I don't like being an emotional girl...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Where's the Love?
Over the past few weeks, I think I've realized what the hardest part of this summer has proven to be. That is the amount of hatred and judgement that I have been surrounded by since I've been home.
For example, my mother was reading an article about this woman who was visiting her son in prison. Her son was sentenced 95 years in prison for murder and attempted murder. This woman is in a wheelchair and before she can go in to visit her son, the police officers make her switch wheelchairs. Having worked with people who are handicapped, I can understand how frustrating getting in and out of wheelchairs can be. This woman expressed her complaints about this protocol and it was quoted in an online news article.
Not only is there hatred in the crime that this woman's son has committed, but as I overheard my mother reading the comments on the article aloud in the other room, I realized how much hatred there is in people toward this woman and her son. This hatred was found in my mother as well. So many people commented on this story calling this woman "stupid" and saying that she had no right to complain because her son had committed a crime, murder nonetheless. There were people who commented attacking her success as a parent because her son ended up in prison for a crime that she had no attachment to as if she was at fault for her son committing that murder.
These comments made me sick. There was so much hatred flowing out of those words. Not only did the comments make me sick, but my mother's reaction to these comments saddened me as well. She agreed with every one of the comments and suggested that the site mail what these people had written to the woman and son. Why? No idea. Isn't this world filled with enough hate as it is? Do we really need to add to it? I can honestly say that I am saddened by the actions of these people and the words that were spoken. It all brings me back to the lyrics of the song "Where is the Love?" by the Black Eyed Peas.
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA fightin'
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?
Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)
It's this kind of reciprocated hate for hate that leads us down a path of destruction. This kind of hate leads people straight into depression, suicide, self-mutilation, eating disorders, and into even more hate. People's hearts become hardened to each other and soon it becomes almost impossible to learn to really love again.
I'm on a mission to do the almost impossible and really love the way that God has loved me. I would love for some people to come and walk beside me and show some compassion for this world- for the ones we love, for the ones we dislike, for everyone who loves us, for everyone who hates us, for everyone we know, and for every one we don't know. People all around this world need the love of Christ. Let's do our best to show them what it's all about.
Whether we're friends or enemies, no matter what you've done (good or bad) in this life, I love you because God loved me first.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34)
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28)
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (Romans 12:14)
We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it (1 Corinthians 4:12)
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:17-21)
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9)
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble (1 John 2:9-10)
For example, my mother was reading an article about this woman who was visiting her son in prison. Her son was sentenced 95 years in prison for murder and attempted murder. This woman is in a wheelchair and before she can go in to visit her son, the police officers make her switch wheelchairs. Having worked with people who are handicapped, I can understand how frustrating getting in and out of wheelchairs can be. This woman expressed her complaints about this protocol and it was quoted in an online news article.
Not only is there hatred in the crime that this woman's son has committed, but as I overheard my mother reading the comments on the article aloud in the other room, I realized how much hatred there is in people toward this woman and her son. This hatred was found in my mother as well. So many people commented on this story calling this woman "stupid" and saying that she had no right to complain because her son had committed a crime, murder nonetheless. There were people who commented attacking her success as a parent because her son ended up in prison for a crime that she had no attachment to as if she was at fault for her son committing that murder.
These comments made me sick. There was so much hatred flowing out of those words. Not only did the comments make me sick, but my mother's reaction to these comments saddened me as well. She agreed with every one of the comments and suggested that the site mail what these people had written to the woman and son. Why? No idea. Isn't this world filled with enough hate as it is? Do we really need to add to it? I can honestly say that I am saddened by the actions of these people and the words that were spoken. It all brings me back to the lyrics of the song "Where is the Love?" by the Black Eyed Peas.
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA fightin'
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?
Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)
It's this kind of reciprocated hate for hate that leads us down a path of destruction. This kind of hate leads people straight into depression, suicide, self-mutilation, eating disorders, and into even more hate. People's hearts become hardened to each other and soon it becomes almost impossible to learn to really love again.
I'm on a mission to do the almost impossible and really love the way that God has loved me. I would love for some people to come and walk beside me and show some compassion for this world- for the ones we love, for the ones we dislike, for everyone who loves us, for everyone who hates us, for everyone we know, and for every one we don't know. People all around this world need the love of Christ. Let's do our best to show them what it's all about.
Whether we're friends or enemies, no matter what you've done (good or bad) in this life, I love you because God loved me first.
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34)
But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28)
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (Romans 12:14)
We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it (1 Corinthians 4:12)
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:17-21)
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9)
Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble (1 John 2:9-10)
Friday, June 17, 2011
A Short Blog?
Yep. You read it correctly. A short one for you tonight. All I have to say is praise GOD for amazing friends. Countdowns please!
10 days until Jess arrives in Indy.
11 days until we leave for Florida and I get to see Liz, Kelly, Patreeya, and Regina.
11-18 days until I get to see Richard, flower Jess, and some more amazing work friends from Disney.
1 month and 13 days until I move into my house with 3 amazing women :) (Heather, Jen, and Katy).
2 months and 8 days until I get to see Jake, who is serving in Afghanistan right now. SO excited!
Not to mention that tonight, God brought an old friend back into my life and we had an amazing talk about Jesus and what He has done for us. I love Gospel conversations and getting old friendships going again.
This is more than kind of fun. SO much joy.
10 days until Jess arrives in Indy.
11 days until we leave for Florida and I get to see Liz, Kelly, Patreeya, and Regina.
11-18 days until I get to see Richard, flower Jess, and some more amazing work friends from Disney.
1 month and 13 days until I move into my house with 3 amazing women :) (Heather, Jen, and Katy).
2 months and 8 days until I get to see Jake, who is serving in Afghanistan right now. SO excited!
Not to mention that tonight, God brought an old friend back into my life and we had an amazing talk about Jesus and what He has done for us. I love Gospel conversations and getting old friendships going again.
This is more than kind of fun. SO much joy.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Pa-pa-pa Papa Johns!
I knew that this summer was going to be full of adventures, but I never thought that getting a job and then doing that job would be one of them. So, you see. Going into the summer I had sent out at least 15 resumes and job applications to everywhere I could think of. NO ONE was calling me back or they weren't hiring until June. I got home the first week of May. I'm a college kid who needs money to pay rent next year. Yeah, I need more money that a part time job will pay me for half of the summer.
A month goes by and I finally get a call from my my friend who's dad is a manager at the Papa John's here in town. The manager didn't call me, his son did. I had an interview.
This interview shouldn't have even been called an interview. I basically went in there and just talked to him about what the pay would be like and what hours I would be working. And then I filled out my paper work and came in the next week to start work. I wasn't particularly excited because when I went in for my interview, I realized that there were ONLY men working there. I'm not the most comfortable person when it comes to being surrounded by those of the opposite sex, but a job is a job and if one thing is for sure, it's that God definitely wants me to be out of my comfort zone this summer.
My first day at work... not so great. I went in and found out that this girl I knew from high school would be training me. She's a year younger than me and has never really liked me all that much. She was always one of the popular girls and I was a band geek. We never really talked, but I would always see sideways glances coming from her direction in the lunch room. Anywho, that doesn't really matter. The point is, she basically made my first day at work the most horrific day I could have asked for.
The first day I was working I was training on phones taking orders. The computer system Papa John's has is ANCIENT! And so difficult to get the hang of because it's not very efficient and when you have a hungry customer on the other end of the phone that is getting upset because you have to re-enter their order because you wrote it in wrong the first time, that customer tends to get very frustrated very quickly.
So, while struggling to do anything right while taking an order, my trainer decides that it'd be a fabulous idea to just stand there and laugh while I am sinking faster than the Titanic. And after I finally finish taking the order and getting yelled at by the customer, she decides that it'd be beneficial to rattle off everything that I did wrong and not tell me how to fix it. Can you say discouragement?
Did I also mention that one of my ex-boyfriend's best friends is a shift manager there as well? That was awesome. All of his friends hate me because of some silly little lie he told them 3 years ago. This boy spoke about me with profanity and laughed at my failures. Needless to say, this was a pretty awful first day of work.
When I went home that day after work I was so upset and wanted to quit more than anything else in the world. I couldn't imagine a worse job. I have to work with people who don't like me, nobody else knows me, none of my coworkers are believers, and I get checked out by guys who are twice my age. Not my ideal job, not a comfortable environment, and not good for my self-esteem. Somewhere deep down I knew that I needed to keep this job though. So, that night before I went to bed I spent a good hour or so with God just praying that it would get easier, that I wouldn't suck at my job tomorrow and that the people at work would be nice to me.
The next day while I was driving to work I had a knot in the pit of my stomach that felt like I had swallowed a huge ball of raw pizza dough. That's when I knew I needed to start praying again. I prayed for a calm heart and for a good day at work, but most of all that I would be able to reach out to those who I worked with to show them the love of Jesus. I clocked in and just stood there because I had no idea what my manager wanted me to do and he was no where to be found. Then my ex-boyfriend's best friend came over and asked me if I needed help clocking in (in a nice way). I was so confused, but so grateful that he had been gracious and wanted to help me out.
Then, my manager walks in with another guy who looks to be in his mid 30's and tells me that he is going to be my new trainer. Basically, I didn't know whether to be relieved or scared, but I knew that I had to deal with it. Turns out, he's an awesome guy, he's married, and he's super nice. He showed me a lot of new things on the computers that I could do to make taking orders easier and worked with me through the order taking process. He encouraged me to ask questions and assured me that everyone is this terrible when they first start. By the end of the day, I was a pro at taking orders.
Throughout this 2 1/2 weeks of working at Papa John's I have learned some amazing things about the Lord.
1. Prayer WORKS. I pray on my way to work every day that I will have a chance to open up to my coworkers and get to know them better and God never fails to answer those prayers. I also pray that I won't suck at my job that day and that God will give me wisdom. I also pray that I will be given opportunities to share the Gospel with someone (that one hasn't happened yet, but these things take time). My number one prayer is that at work I will shine God's love to my coworkers and be an example of Christ. I fail at it miserably most of the time, but I know that God gives me the ability to live a life led by the Holy Spirit.
2. Reliance on God is crucial to our well being and ability to live a life apart from this world. During my first week at work I had every reason to quit this job. It's horrible pay, horrible hours, people were mean to me, and I failed at everything I did. I realized that and realized that I needed God to do this for me because there was no way I was going to make it on my own (I seriously would have quit). And now I can confidently say that I don't believe any of that is true. Okay, maybe the horrible pay part and I do need to find a second job, but my attitude towards those facts has changed significantly.
3. I CAN do something I'm terrible at if I let God intercede and work hard like He commands me. Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart." If I view my job as a way to glorify God in the way I work then that in itself is a ministry field and I have a new way to show my coworkers a bit of what Christ looks like.
So, to wrap it all up... I sucked at my job, now I don't. And all the praise goes to God. He's worked so much in my heart just in my work place over the past 2 1/2 weeks. I actually enjoy going to work now and I think today I might have actually been looking forward to getting to work? Crazy right?
This time last week if you would have asked me about my job, I would have said I hated it, wanted to quit, I didn't feel comfortable there, and that I sucked at everything I did. Today, I can honestly say that I have made friends who I can talk to and joke around with while working, I enjoy my job, and that I do a pretty decent job at what I do.
I'm finally worthy of a minimum wage job!!!!!
It's kind of fun.
A month goes by and I finally get a call from my my friend who's dad is a manager at the Papa John's here in town. The manager didn't call me, his son did. I had an interview.
This interview shouldn't have even been called an interview. I basically went in there and just talked to him about what the pay would be like and what hours I would be working. And then I filled out my paper work and came in the next week to start work. I wasn't particularly excited because when I went in for my interview, I realized that there were ONLY men working there. I'm not the most comfortable person when it comes to being surrounded by those of the opposite sex, but a job is a job and if one thing is for sure, it's that God definitely wants me to be out of my comfort zone this summer.
My first day at work... not so great. I went in and found out that this girl I knew from high school would be training me. She's a year younger than me and has never really liked me all that much. She was always one of the popular girls and I was a band geek. We never really talked, but I would always see sideways glances coming from her direction in the lunch room. Anywho, that doesn't really matter. The point is, she basically made my first day at work the most horrific day I could have asked for.
The first day I was working I was training on phones taking orders. The computer system Papa John's has is ANCIENT! And so difficult to get the hang of because it's not very efficient and when you have a hungry customer on the other end of the phone that is getting upset because you have to re-enter their order because you wrote it in wrong the first time, that customer tends to get very frustrated very quickly.
So, while struggling to do anything right while taking an order, my trainer decides that it'd be a fabulous idea to just stand there and laugh while I am sinking faster than the Titanic. And after I finally finish taking the order and getting yelled at by the customer, she decides that it'd be beneficial to rattle off everything that I did wrong and not tell me how to fix it. Can you say discouragement?
Did I also mention that one of my ex-boyfriend's best friends is a shift manager there as well? That was awesome. All of his friends hate me because of some silly little lie he told them 3 years ago. This boy spoke about me with profanity and laughed at my failures. Needless to say, this was a pretty awful first day of work.
When I went home that day after work I was so upset and wanted to quit more than anything else in the world. I couldn't imagine a worse job. I have to work with people who don't like me, nobody else knows me, none of my coworkers are believers, and I get checked out by guys who are twice my age. Not my ideal job, not a comfortable environment, and not good for my self-esteem. Somewhere deep down I knew that I needed to keep this job though. So, that night before I went to bed I spent a good hour or so with God just praying that it would get easier, that I wouldn't suck at my job tomorrow and that the people at work would be nice to me.
The next day while I was driving to work I had a knot in the pit of my stomach that felt like I had swallowed a huge ball of raw pizza dough. That's when I knew I needed to start praying again. I prayed for a calm heart and for a good day at work, but most of all that I would be able to reach out to those who I worked with to show them the love of Jesus. I clocked in and just stood there because I had no idea what my manager wanted me to do and he was no where to be found. Then my ex-boyfriend's best friend came over and asked me if I needed help clocking in (in a nice way). I was so confused, but so grateful that he had been gracious and wanted to help me out.
Then, my manager walks in with another guy who looks to be in his mid 30's and tells me that he is going to be my new trainer. Basically, I didn't know whether to be relieved or scared, but I knew that I had to deal with it. Turns out, he's an awesome guy, he's married, and he's super nice. He showed me a lot of new things on the computers that I could do to make taking orders easier and worked with me through the order taking process. He encouraged me to ask questions and assured me that everyone is this terrible when they first start. By the end of the day, I was a pro at taking orders.
Throughout this 2 1/2 weeks of working at Papa John's I have learned some amazing things about the Lord.
1. Prayer WORKS. I pray on my way to work every day that I will have a chance to open up to my coworkers and get to know them better and God never fails to answer those prayers. I also pray that I won't suck at my job that day and that God will give me wisdom. I also pray that I will be given opportunities to share the Gospel with someone (that one hasn't happened yet, but these things take time). My number one prayer is that at work I will shine God's love to my coworkers and be an example of Christ. I fail at it miserably most of the time, but I know that God gives me the ability to live a life led by the Holy Spirit.
2. Reliance on God is crucial to our well being and ability to live a life apart from this world. During my first week at work I had every reason to quit this job. It's horrible pay, horrible hours, people were mean to me, and I failed at everything I did. I realized that and realized that I needed God to do this for me because there was no way I was going to make it on my own (I seriously would have quit). And now I can confidently say that I don't believe any of that is true. Okay, maybe the horrible pay part and I do need to find a second job, but my attitude towards those facts has changed significantly.
3. I CAN do something I'm terrible at if I let God intercede and work hard like He commands me. Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart." If I view my job as a way to glorify God in the way I work then that in itself is a ministry field and I have a new way to show my coworkers a bit of what Christ looks like.
So, to wrap it all up... I sucked at my job, now I don't. And all the praise goes to God. He's worked so much in my heart just in my work place over the past 2 1/2 weeks. I actually enjoy going to work now and I think today I might have actually been looking forward to getting to work? Crazy right?
This time last week if you would have asked me about my job, I would have said I hated it, wanted to quit, I didn't feel comfortable there, and that I sucked at everything I did. Today, I can honestly say that I have made friends who I can talk to and joke around with while working, I enjoy my job, and that I do a pretty decent job at what I do.
I'm finally worthy of a minimum wage job!!!!!
It's kind of fun.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Long Distanceness
One thing my mother always told me was that long distance friendships/relationships hardly ever work out. That may have just been her way of trying to keep me from dating this boy from a different town back in high school, but nevertheless, I thought that long distance anything would be impossible. Going to college, living in Orlando for a summer, and living with people from all over the world has proven my mother's theory impossible.
You see, last summer I spent 2 months living in Orlando and working at Walt Disney World (yeah, if you know me you're probably shaking your head and smiling right about now). Over those two months, I created bonds that are so strong, they will never die. No matter how hard my mother's theory tries to kill them, they aren't going anywhere. I have a best friend in France. I have a best friend who lives in Florida and who is going to be moving to Missouri at the end of this summer. I have friends in New Mexico, California, Colorado, Kentucky, Tennessee, China, Mexico, and most of them don't stay in the same place for too long. For example, Friend who lives in Kentucky only goes to school in Kentucky, but her family lives in Pennsylvania. I have a friend who goes to school in Illinois, but lives in Minnesota. I have a friend who just travels everywhere and somehow manages to stay in touch.
Tonight, I got to talk to a best friend (Kelly) who lives in Florida and will be moving to Missouri and another friend who was born in Thailand (Patreeya) via Skype. I haven't talked to Kelly in a month or maybe even more (our lives are crazy, we understand). I can't even begin to describe the amount of joy the flowed through my body when I saw her face on my computer screen... no joke. Her smile could out shine a thousand light houses. AND I get to see her in just a little over 2 weeks! =D And then, she says that Patreeya was sitting right next to her! So, I got to see Patreeya and chat with her for a little bit. I haven't talked to Patreeya since last summer, so it's been about 10 months. But seeing her was absolutely phenomenal. It really makes me wonder what I would do if our entire project (all of the people that I lived with last summer) had a huge reunion. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of joy that would bring.
Any who. All of my life, I've been told that long distance anything is impossible. WRONG-O!
^ I'm going to Disney world with my friend who goes to school in Chicago and lives in Minnesota (Jess)... what? That doesn't happen. Not real.
^ Kelly and I have vowed that our children will be so close, they'll say that they're cousins.
^ My friend in France (Philippe) wants to pay for my plane ticket to come over there so I can come visit and see his country. That's across the big blue thing called an ocean. That's pretty long distance if you ask me and we're still thick as thieves! All because of one summer...
Absolutely impossible. I made all of these lifelong friends because of one summer in Orlando, Florida working at the happiest place on earth where dreams come true. Maybe it was a little bit of Disney magic. I know for sure that God has his hand in all of this. He has brought me the most amazing friends, the most amazing community, and the most amazing ways to prove my mother's theory wrong.
I could put individual pictures of every person I've talked about thus far and elaborated more on how much they mean to me, but I think this picture will suffice. This is almost everyone I lived with this summer. Almost. They are all such a blessing to me. We surfed some gnarly waves together and became one huge family.
It was kind of fun.
You see, last summer I spent 2 months living in Orlando and working at Walt Disney World (yeah, if you know me you're probably shaking your head and smiling right about now). Over those two months, I created bonds that are so strong, they will never die. No matter how hard my mother's theory tries to kill them, they aren't going anywhere. I have a best friend in France. I have a best friend who lives in Florida and who is going to be moving to Missouri at the end of this summer. I have friends in New Mexico, California, Colorado, Kentucky, Tennessee, China, Mexico, and most of them don't stay in the same place for too long. For example, Friend who lives in Kentucky only goes to school in Kentucky, but her family lives in Pennsylvania. I have a friend who goes to school in Illinois, but lives in Minnesota. I have a friend who just travels everywhere and somehow manages to stay in touch.
Tonight, I got to talk to a best friend (Kelly) who lives in Florida and will be moving to Missouri and another friend who was born in Thailand (Patreeya) via Skype. I haven't talked to Kelly in a month or maybe even more (our lives are crazy, we understand). I can't even begin to describe the amount of joy the flowed through my body when I saw her face on my computer screen... no joke. Her smile could out shine a thousand light houses. AND I get to see her in just a little over 2 weeks! =D And then, she says that Patreeya was sitting right next to her! So, I got to see Patreeya and chat with her for a little bit. I haven't talked to Patreeya since last summer, so it's been about 10 months. But seeing her was absolutely phenomenal. It really makes me wonder what I would do if our entire project (all of the people that I lived with last summer) had a huge reunion. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of joy that would bring.
Any who. All of my life, I've been told that long distance anything is impossible. WRONG-O!
^ I'm going to Disney world with my friend who goes to school in Chicago and lives in Minnesota (Jess)... what? That doesn't happen. Not real.
^ Kelly and I have vowed that our children will be so close, they'll say that they're cousins.
^ My friend in France (Philippe) wants to pay for my plane ticket to come over there so I can come visit and see his country. That's across the big blue thing called an ocean. That's pretty long distance if you ask me and we're still thick as thieves! All because of one summer...
Absolutely impossible. I made all of these lifelong friends because of one summer in Orlando, Florida working at the happiest place on earth where dreams come true. Maybe it was a little bit of Disney magic. I know for sure that God has his hand in all of this. He has brought me the most amazing friends, the most amazing community, and the most amazing ways to prove my mother's theory wrong.
I could put individual pictures of every person I've talked about thus far and elaborated more on how much they mean to me, but I think this picture will suffice. This is almost everyone I lived with this summer. Almost. They are all such a blessing to me. We surfed some gnarly waves together and became one huge family.
It was kind of fun.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Awkward Encounters
Today has just been full of these awkward encounters. I have had so many deep, meaningful, and dreadful conversations with people that have ended surprisingly well considering how much I was freaking out about them to begin with. Let's list them shall we?
1. Awkward encounter this morning with a boy (that's all you need to know). We'll call him Justin.
2. Awkward encounter with God (about Justin). Conviction, repentance. All good things, I was just dreading it before it happened.
3. Awkward encounter with ex-boyfriend's current fiance (we're going to focus on this one throughout the blog post, so stay tuned!)
4. Awkward encounter with ex-boyfriend
5. Awkward encounter with my roommate who I have been dreading spilling my guts to about some things for the past few days, which I did tonight
6. Awkward encounter (again) with Justin about our awkward encounter this morning.
Is it just me, or is the phrase "awkward encounter" beginning to sound... weird?
So, I've had many awkward encounters in my life (I'm a pretty awkward person when I want to be), but today there wasn't just a normal awkward moment in my life. You see, I had this boyfriend who was going to propose to me, then things went sour. We didn't speak for almost a year and then rekindled our friendship. Then things got sour again and we didn't talk for a while... again. Then we started talking... again. And then he started dating this other girl. Needless to say, me being a girl, I got all emotional (rollercoasterrrr). Not because I still had feelings for this boy, but because I was still so hurt by the things that had happened in our relationship and he had just started dating one of our mutual, good friends from high school.
I think it's pretty plain to see that when this sort of thing happens, you just stop talking to that person. Yep. That's what happened (for the most part). We would still talk occasionally, but I needed separation, I needed space, and most importantly I needed time to heal. Things had happened in our relationship that really did some damage and I needed time to repair. So, I spent some time in my own little repair shop and let the Lord work on me.
This summer, I was supposed to go on a missions trip to Maryland, but I felt that God was calling me home to heal, go to counseling, and really seek Him in a different way. I think God knows I'm going to grow more here than I ever could in Maryland. He's got it all planned out. And I saw the beginning of God's plan unravel in front of my eyes today. You see, my ex-boyfriend's fiance is going to be volunteering as a leader at the same church youth group as I am this summer. Which means, we're going to be spending a good chunk of our time working together, planning together, praying together, leading together, teaching together, going on trips together, and walking with Christ together over the next 3 months.
We had our first meeting today for leadership. I had convinced myself that this meeting wasn't going to awkward and I wasn't going to make a big deal about it. I wasn't mad at her after all, so what is there to be weird about? There are no hard feelings towards her, so it shouldn't be a problem. Right? Wrong. As much as I didn't want there to be tension, there was. And as much as I didn't want it to be awkward, boy was it ever! After sitting on the same sofa as her without saying a single word to each other, it was time to go and we all stood up and went outside to our cars. My ex-boyfriend's fiance walked alone to her car while 2 of the other leaders and I proceeded to our cars at the other end of the lot. I decided that I didn't want her to think that I hated her, so I shouted out a friendly, "I hope you have a great day!" to her before she got in her car (for all intensive purposes, I'm going to name this girl Anna in order to make this sound as smoothly as possible and keep her identity a secret). As I continued talking with these other 2 leaders, Anna walks over to us and asks if her and I could go to Starbucks and talk. I agreed because I knew we needed to get this awkwardness out of our system in order to serve this church in the best way that we possibly could.
So, we left and went to Starbucks (and we didn't get anything to drink because neither of us were thirsty, just FYI). Anna and I talked for a good hour and a half before the awkward silences became too frequent for our liking. It was a good conversation and I think it really helped us get to where we need to be (for now). This means that I'm going to have to do a lot of healing, really quick. But the good thing about it is that God has this all orchestrated out perfectly. I think He knew this is the only way that I was going to be able to get over the hurt that I still carry around in my heart from that past relationship. Over the summer, I'm really excited to get to know Anna again and to walk alongside her this summer as sisters in Christ. That's what really matters after all. We're both adults running after God's own heart. That's what makes this friendship possible.
I thought it would be impossible for me to ever be friends with Anna or my ex-boyfriend again. I just didn't think that my heart could take it. There were no hard feelings towards them because I have forgiven my ex-boyfriend and there is no reason to be angry with Anna, but my heart has just been too scarred. And I've let it be that scarred for too long. I think God has big plans this summer. I think these plans have to do with these scars I carry around. I think God has brought Anna back into my life to bring some healing. She's already offered to let me talk to her about problems I might still have (weird, right? It almost brought me to tears when she offered to listen to me talk about how her current fiance has hurt me beyond words in the past). That takes true courage and a true friend to simply say, "If you need to talk about anything about that, just let me know... because I don't like seeing you hurt." I thought it was impossible for something like that to happen in real life.
That conversation today was so much more than I could ever explain in a blog post, which is why I didn't go into any detail. We talked about life, Christ, relationships, our friendship, and this summer. We talked about so much in so little time and I think even that brought some healing. Impossible right? Maybe not to you, but to me it seems like it should be. There's God for you. Always preparing our hearts for what is coming. I just goes to show how he has every tiny detail completely planned out and in control. I don't see why I still think there is such a thing as impossible when God proves me wrong so many times. God's starting this summer with a bang.
It's kind of fun.
1. Awkward encounter this morning with a boy (that's all you need to know). We'll call him Justin.
2. Awkward encounter with God (about Justin). Conviction, repentance. All good things, I was just dreading it before it happened.
3. Awkward encounter with ex-boyfriend's current fiance (we're going to focus on this one throughout the blog post, so stay tuned!)
4. Awkward encounter with ex-boyfriend
5. Awkward encounter with my roommate who I have been dreading spilling my guts to about some things for the past few days, which I did tonight
6. Awkward encounter (again) with Justin about our awkward encounter this morning.
Is it just me, or is the phrase "awkward encounter" beginning to sound... weird?
So, I've had many awkward encounters in my life (I'm a pretty awkward person when I want to be), but today there wasn't just a normal awkward moment in my life. You see, I had this boyfriend who was going to propose to me, then things went sour. We didn't speak for almost a year and then rekindled our friendship. Then things got sour again and we didn't talk for a while... again. Then we started talking... again. And then he started dating this other girl. Needless to say, me being a girl, I got all emotional (rollercoasterrrr). Not because I still had feelings for this boy, but because I was still so hurt by the things that had happened in our relationship and he had just started dating one of our mutual, good friends from high school.
I think it's pretty plain to see that when this sort of thing happens, you just stop talking to that person. Yep. That's what happened (for the most part). We would still talk occasionally, but I needed separation, I needed space, and most importantly I needed time to heal. Things had happened in our relationship that really did some damage and I needed time to repair. So, I spent some time in my own little repair shop and let the Lord work on me.
This summer, I was supposed to go on a missions trip to Maryland, but I felt that God was calling me home to heal, go to counseling, and really seek Him in a different way. I think God knows I'm going to grow more here than I ever could in Maryland. He's got it all planned out. And I saw the beginning of God's plan unravel in front of my eyes today. You see, my ex-boyfriend's fiance is going to be volunteering as a leader at the same church youth group as I am this summer. Which means, we're going to be spending a good chunk of our time working together, planning together, praying together, leading together, teaching together, going on trips together, and walking with Christ together over the next 3 months.
We had our first meeting today for leadership. I had convinced myself that this meeting wasn't going to awkward and I wasn't going to make a big deal about it. I wasn't mad at her after all, so what is there to be weird about? There are no hard feelings towards her, so it shouldn't be a problem. Right? Wrong. As much as I didn't want there to be tension, there was. And as much as I didn't want it to be awkward, boy was it ever! After sitting on the same sofa as her without saying a single word to each other, it was time to go and we all stood up and went outside to our cars. My ex-boyfriend's fiance walked alone to her car while 2 of the other leaders and I proceeded to our cars at the other end of the lot. I decided that I didn't want her to think that I hated her, so I shouted out a friendly, "I hope you have a great day!" to her before she got in her car (for all intensive purposes, I'm going to name this girl Anna in order to make this sound as smoothly as possible and keep her identity a secret). As I continued talking with these other 2 leaders, Anna walks over to us and asks if her and I could go to Starbucks and talk. I agreed because I knew we needed to get this awkwardness out of our system in order to serve this church in the best way that we possibly could.
So, we left and went to Starbucks (and we didn't get anything to drink because neither of us were thirsty, just FYI). Anna and I talked for a good hour and a half before the awkward silences became too frequent for our liking. It was a good conversation and I think it really helped us get to where we need to be (for now). This means that I'm going to have to do a lot of healing, really quick. But the good thing about it is that God has this all orchestrated out perfectly. I think He knew this is the only way that I was going to be able to get over the hurt that I still carry around in my heart from that past relationship. Over the summer, I'm really excited to get to know Anna again and to walk alongside her this summer as sisters in Christ. That's what really matters after all. We're both adults running after God's own heart. That's what makes this friendship possible.
I thought it would be impossible for me to ever be friends with Anna or my ex-boyfriend again. I just didn't think that my heart could take it. There were no hard feelings towards them because I have forgiven my ex-boyfriend and there is no reason to be angry with Anna, but my heart has just been too scarred. And I've let it be that scarred for too long. I think God has big plans this summer. I think these plans have to do with these scars I carry around. I think God has brought Anna back into my life to bring some healing. She's already offered to let me talk to her about problems I might still have (weird, right? It almost brought me to tears when she offered to listen to me talk about how her current fiance has hurt me beyond words in the past). That takes true courage and a true friend to simply say, "If you need to talk about anything about that, just let me know... because I don't like seeing you hurt." I thought it was impossible for something like that to happen in real life.
That conversation today was so much more than I could ever explain in a blog post, which is why I didn't go into any detail. We talked about life, Christ, relationships, our friendship, and this summer. We talked about so much in so little time and I think even that brought some healing. Impossible right? Maybe not to you, but to me it seems like it should be. There's God for you. Always preparing our hearts for what is coming. I just goes to show how he has every tiny detail completely planned out and in control. I don't see why I still think there is such a thing as impossible when God proves me wrong so many times. God's starting this summer with a bang.
It's kind of fun.
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